Besides my SO, myself, two girlfriends, four male friends - three brought their partners - there was a gay guy, lesbian couple and their transexual friend. Now how varied a bunch can you assemble.
It was somewhat of a reunion. We all knew each other from the 80s, except two of the girls who were girlfriends of our male friends. We had dinner at this ribs joint along Joo Chiat Road and ate like it was the last supper before the end of the world. We had a glorious time.
So this transexual friend of ours accompanied me to get a jug of margarita at the bar and when I walked to one end of the bar to look at their dessert menu, this American guy sitting at the bar begins to throw a few lewd comments at my friend. Credit to her, she ignored him. It was classic. She pretended like he wasn't even there, although you could smell his alcohol-riddled breath.
But we got talking after that and she revealed that it was no big deal since she had to deal with it all the time; in the coffee-shop, restaurant, club, market, on the street, and even at her workplace.
It just seems somehow that when a man sees a transexual, it automatically signals the licence to dish out a barrage of comments with a heavy sexual tone. It's like every transexual you see is a sexual animal waiting to show their prowess at pleasing males. Where did this come from?
Of course this is not in the majority but it reminds me very much of a time when women were coming out and starting to hold their own in society. To put them down, men would often throw sexual innuendo at them. Perhaps it's insecurity or downright ignorance but it's starting to happen again.
Trust me, I've met more heterosexual people who are more unbalanced. But it should not be about heterosexual, transexual, bisexual or homosexual really. We are all just people - different no doubt but still people. Without the variation and uniqueness, we will all just be robots in this harsh world. I doubt many of us want that.
The next time you see a transexual, just treat them like you would any other person. That is all they really want. No sexual innuendos and no suggestive implications. They are not always thinking sex. They want to lead normal lives too, something that you and I take for granted all the time!
Missus Singapore out!
i just found your blog in the ocean that we call the internet.
ReplyDeletei must say ive taken a liking to your open ( perhaps even ballsy) style of writing, an informative read to say the least.
Almost subconsciously, i found myself rummaging through the archives just to continue reading!
you indeed madam are a rare gem in sunny singapore, please dont stop writing!
Hi Kevin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comments. I am humbled by them and pleased at the same time simply because it's really no effort on my part especially since I am just being myself. I hope you continue following me.
I agree with your article above. Many mmons ago iused to frequent a bistro and there is this group of transexual that always frequent the place. after a while they become very friendly with me and cnfessed that i treat them a normal human being umlike some males who like to jeer at them, touch them and pinch them when they walk past. we should respect their choice and courage to be who they want to be irregardless of what others think of them.
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